25 September 2016

Finding a new normal

With any period of change it always takes a while to find your feet, to adapt, to discover your new rhythm. I'll always remember the the wonderful chaos of having my first baby and the unknown newness of becoming a mother. I felt like I was paddling a boat rather unsteadily, unsure of where I was going and it felt a bit unsettling. The truth was I was trying to get to the destination too quickly, to a place where it all felt familiar and settled again. What I needed was to give myself time, time to find our 'new normal'. I can't quite remember when it happened but sometime between 12 and 16 weeks we made that transition and suddenly I couldn't remember what life felt like before and it all felt very normal again, even if that was an incredibly tired normal.

Adjusting to motherhood
Ellie and I when she was 10 weeks old
The introduction of a new sibling
Ellie age 2 with her new baby sister Phoebe
Inevitably our 'normal' was turned upside down by the arrival of baby number two as we learnt to juggle two little people's needs, feeling torn and working out our days with a newborn and a busy toddler to entertain. I remember meeting a lady in the park who was pregnant with her second baby and as we pushed our toddlers on the swings she asked me "how do you find having two?" I told her it was amazing, sometimes a challenge and that it took a while to find our 'new normal'  but we were finally finding our feet and I couldn't remember life without two. It was so lovely when I bumped into this lady after the arrival of her baby and when I asked how she was getting on she said that they had "found their new normal".  

Adjusting to life as a mum of 3
Me with my 3 little ladies, Ellie (3) Phoebe (18 months) and Lottie a few weeks old
Life has changed for us in other ways over last few years with job changes for my husband, working from home full time to then commuting to London with long days and this took some time for us all to get used to. The arrival of our third baby also threw us out for a while, although this was a far shorter period than before and was more to do with the logistics of looking after three under 4 and surviving the lack of sleep. She very much had to just fit in and we had already been through the change of adding a sibling to mix so kind of knew the ropes and found our new normal more quickly. 

Ellie starting school!

We had just got into a lovely, comfortable rhythm with life with three young children and knew how our days went and then our first born started school which is a whole unknown world. Just like that we've found ourselves in another period of transition to navigate and just need to embrace the change and find our 'new normal' once again.

So whether you are a new mum, have recently added a new sibling to the mix, moved house, started a new job, gone back to work after maternity leave, or undergone any other significant change in your life, give yourself time, be kind to yourself and you'll soon find your new normal too.

Me x


  1. I love this! Your description of new motherhood as 'paddling a boat unsteadily' is spot on, although I have to say that it took me until about 6 months in to start feeling like I'd reached my new normal. But it did come in the end. Such a positive post, I love it. Thanks so much for sharing it with us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  2. Love this post! Its so true that you do eventually get to a place where life is your 'normal', that journey is different for everyone. With Alice starting school we are finding our feet once again with a new routine. but it will come. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove


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