I recently shared a post called 'one day' about all the things I would no longer one day do, some of them precious, some of them mundane, some of them everyday. One of these things was feeding my baby. Sunday night marked our last breastfeed and last night daddy put Miss Dot to bed. This is a big decision for me, an emotionally mixed one and I felt I wanted to document it.
|Our last feed 11/09/2016|
In honesty I'd reached the decision to call it a day because after 5 years of being pregnant and breastfeeding pretty much back to back I'd quite like my body back. There have been moments when it hasn't been easy, when it's been so demanding and exhausting and I've felt like giving up. I haven't enjoyed every feed, sometimes I've dreaded every feed during a growth spurt or similar. At times it's been intense, overwhelming and I've resented having to be there at every bedtime and being the one getting up in the night so many times I would never have been able to count. At the same time when I sat in that rocking chair on Sunday evening and we had that one last feed it felt so precious, so worth every tough moment, and i'd do it all over again, every single feed in a heartbeat. I cried and held her a little bit longer before putting her in her cot that last time. There were tears from her and even more from me last night when she went to bed without me, safely cuddled by her daddy. it was hard but it's the right thing for us, for me. I feel sad, I feel relieved, I feel very proud but most of all I feel ready to move on. It's the end of a very long chapter but a new one is beginning.