10 October 2017

You Can't Pour From An Empty Cup

Lately I have been feeling totally and utterly burnt out. I'm finding this whole working mama thing a tough gig right now and am run down and overwhelmed. Having three children, working and trying to run a household is nothing out of the ordinary, nothing amazing, but exhausting and pretty relentless none the less. My mind is continually contemplating what needs to be done next and I find it really difficult to shut off, particularly as it can be late in the evening before I sit down and more often that not I just want to go to bed.

You can't pour from an empty cup why self care is so important for mothers and why i need to be better at it

There are toys scattered all over the living room and playroom, there are approximately 41 fridge magnets which have been removed from the fridge and arranged in some kind of home alone style booby trap over the kitchen floor. The stuff from making dinner is still on the sideboard and the bins need emptying. There is washing in the machine that needs to be dried, more washing upstairs that needs to be washed, clothes and bags that need getting ready for tomorrow, I have work to do and I'm so tired. There just aren't enough hours in the day and as much as I'm all for 'the jobs can wait' mantra, lets be honest, they can't all wait and left unattended for too long only add to the feelings of overwhelm...

My mum sent me a message last week that simply said "you can't pour from an empty cup, look after you," and she's absolutely right, my cup is looking very empty and yet I'm still trying to make it stretch a little bit further. As parents I think it's really easy to forget yourself and really hard to make time for yourself. There's a never ending to do list and I find myself firmly at the bottom of it. There are quite a few people (mostly little ones) relying on me to be on form and I'm not sure I'm doing anything particularly well at the moment, it certainly feels that way anyway and that in itself feels pretty overwhelming.

Mothers are given the accolades of being 'the linchpins of families', 'the buttons that hold everything together' and we can't do that if we don't look after ourselves. It's usually not until I crash that I remember how important self care is. Looking after me is crucial to my family, not selfish and not something to feel guilty about and something I am going to start trying to prioritise.

So tonight (once I've put the children to bed!) I'm going to look after me and I encourage you to do the same. The bath is running and there's some chocolate with my name on it. Then I'm going to sit, and breathe, and paint my nails, snuggle up by the fire, watch rubbish guilty pleasure TV and reset. Hopefully the only empty cup by bedtime will be the one I've drank a nice hot cup of tea out of.

Me x


  1. I know these feelings all too well. Sometimes I'm able to let them ride over me but other times it just all comes out! It's a bit like when you have a baby and everyone says that the housework can wait but it's what's waiting the other side if it's not done. I hate mess and I feel that when there is mess, I can't relax. Like a tidy home means a tidy mind. I'm typing this but I need to hang up some washing! It's never ending but some days we just have it together more and the days we don't, then we down tools and try and switch off. Well done you, for taking some time out xx

  2. I can totally relate to this. Sometimes it all gets a bit much, you run out of steam and you just can't do it any more without having a bit of me time. I hope your evening of you time helped x


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